Friday, June 20, 2014

Post-Challenge Workin' on my Fitness 5k Update and some Sloppy Joes... Slop... Sloppy Joes

Howdy there partners.

Jesus I need to find better ways of starting blog entries. That's just embarrassing.


So judging by the immense amounts of underboob sweat, I guess it's summer.  Which means I am one more day closer to strutting my 32-year-old ass on a beach. Or by a lake.  Or walking "I just got off a horse", cowboy-style down the street so my thighs don't continuously rub together and chafe while I'm wearing a dress.

Classy, right?

Speaking of dresses, I've managed to lose about 18 pounds so far.  So to celebrate (or just because I don't think I can wander out of my house in jeggings or terry-cloth shorts all summer), I bought a maxi-dress from Old Navy.

This is my first Maxi-Dress I've owned and is also a size smaller than what I typically wear.

Can we just talk about the magic that is a Maxi Dress for one hot minute?

They might be my favorite thing ever.  They're like fashionable tents for your body.

Not only can I hide all of the bits that I need to have hidden, I can look cute and stylish at the same time.  I can be cool because I'm wearing a damn dress and wonder of all wonders... when I sit down, if I want to spread out my legs to let air circulate, I can and not show everyone my vagazzle.


Oh what a time to be alive.

Anyway, post-Adovcare Challenge, I haven't really done anything different than I did during the challenge except on the weekends I allow myself a diet coke and I am taking a GNC Women's Vitapak.  I don't know if I feel different on it.

Honestly, I think I might hate the pills even more than I hated the Advocare ones, but they're a bit less expensive so I can still pay my car payment and rent this month.  Seriously though. I need to find a way to be able to take the pills and not gag.  The other morning I was unable to take them with the iced black coffee I made, so I brought the pills with me to work in a little Ziploc baggie.

That wasn't completely bizarre of me to be huddled over a bag of multicolored pills in the middle of my office. No. I didn't look like an addict at all.


Can we have a little chat about how fucking confusing weight loss and fitness is?  Thankfully I have some pretty knowledgeable people around me, and I understand the basic "calories in, calories out" principle, but when it comes down to BMR vs. TDEE, net calories, and  Macros, I'm almost as confused as a $2 hooker with a $50 bill.

After calculating my BMR and my TDEE, I was astounded at how many calories I could eat if I wanted to maintain my current weight.  It's ridiculous. I won't spell it out for you, but unless I want to be chomping on blocks of cheese or shoving buckets of lard in my face, there is no way in pink taffeta hell I should be eating that much.

I'm still drinking a damn zebra's body-weight in water, and still eating a low fat, high protein/high veggie and fruit diet.   I work out 4-5 times a week and I'm finding that pants that were tight prior to the 24-day Challenge and then just fit mid-way through the challenge are now baggy.


So I'm doing something right.

I keep forgetting to take progress photos though.  I need to do that. Someone remind me.  Text me until I get off my ass and remember to progress pic myself to high hell.

I've also had a few friends ask me about my opinions on the 24-Day Challenge.  That is really exciting for me.  I'm happy that I have friends who are interested in the challenge, interested in making a lifestyle change, and who are interested in trying something new.

And honestly, if I can be of any help at all, I'm happier than a midget at a mini-skirt convention.

I'm heading to my parents' lake house next Friday, so I'm looking forward to being able to see my family and to relax in the Northwoods.  It's a time away to fish, binge-drink, relax, be surrounded by my fellow Cheeseheads, swim, and get a real tan instead of this fake-bake-tanning-bed shit I've been doing for the last month.


But for now it's focusing on my fitness so that when I head up to the lake I don't get confused with a beached sea lion.


So yesterday was my first ever 5k.  This might not sound like much to most people, but coming from a girl who couldn't run two consecutive blocks without having a seizure, it's quite the accomplishment.

I wanted something that would motivate me.  A few years ago when I first moved to Chicago, I got the idea that I was going to participate in the Big Shoulders Lake Michigan Swim.  It's an open water, 5k swim and I ultimately still have it as a big goal of mine to finish.  The only problem is that I don't have a pool to train in, and training in Lake Michigan in January is not going to work.

Unless I want to try swimming on ice, probably I'm going to need to find a pool.


In the meantime, I've decided to try my hand at running.  And since I haven't ever run a straight mile let alone 3.1, getting up the motivation to run a distance that doesn't involve a bar or cake at the end has been um... interesting.

I'm not a huge fan of crowds so I wanted to go at my own pace for this first race, I decided to sign up for a Virtual Race.   Enter the company, "Will Run for Bling and Charity".  I signed up for the "Father's Day Beer Run 5k" (I was sold at the name) which also benefits the Arthritis Association and figured I'd probably run/walk it on a treadmill and then I'd have a time to beat for my next race.

So yesterday I got all pumped up to run my ass off.  I picked out my running clothes carefully, laced up my sneakers, added a couple of songs to my playlist, and decided to set out and see what kind of magic I could get into on a treadmill.


For the first mile I was gold.  Granted I jogged about as much as I briskly walked, but I was set and at a good pace. The music was motivating me and I didn't feel like I would fall off of the treadmill at any moment.  I was a God damned rockstar.

Then I hit mile 1.25 and everything changed.   I started thinking about how much I had left to go, that if I kept the pace I was going there was no way I would finish my 5k under 45 minutes, and everything started annoying me. My boobs weren't secure in my sports bra, my shoes were a little too tight, the underwear I was wearing was creeping up my ass, the music suddenly sucked, I couldn't get into stride, my knees hurt, everything on the TV at the gym was stupid, and I was pretty sure I didn't lock my purse in my locker.

God dammit.  I hit mile 1.75 and was sure a group of gym-goers were huddled over my purse trying to divide up my $3.48 in change.  That's it. They were taking my damn GNC Gold card and getting ready to get all sorts of discounts on supplements.

I pushed through.  Briskly walking and running, alternating and challenging myself to just run two-tenths of a mile more. Just 40 more seconds. Just until the end of the current song I was on.

Somehow, by the time I reached 2.75 I realized "well Fuckbeans, Betty.  You've got less than a half a mile to go."

And miracle of miracles...I finished.  I began my cool down right at 3.1 and as I slowed to a walk, congratulated myself on that while I didn't have the best time, and I wasn't about to share that time with anyone since I was more embarrassed than a high schooler with a boner giving a presentation, I was pleased with my little accomplishment.


And now I have a time to beat for when I decide to torture myself again.

Anyway. Recipe time.  Because what's a blog entry without a dozen gifs and something I whipped up in my kitchen and then photographed with my Samsung Galaxy?

Something about me I'm sure you already figured out? I love food.  I'm a Midwestern girl and I loves me some meat and taters.  I like comfort food, casseroles, things cooked with a pound or seven of butter, marinated meat, food that's cooked in beer, anything that can be deep fried, and I'll eat really anything that can be thrown on a grill or put on a bun.

But since white bread is the equivalent of Satan crawling out of my ass and destroying the universe, I'm not going for anything fried that I can put on a sandwich right now.


Enter...

Sweet Potato Sloppy Joes.
Chances are you have most of the ingredients on hand, if not all of them.  And when you actually eat the finished product, you may have a "no way this is healthy" moment.

Actually.  It is.  I probably wouldn't shove this in my face morning, noon, and night, but for those moments you need something hearty, and a bit of a comfort, this is perfect and won't leave you feeling guilty.

Cue Adam Sandler's Lunch lady Land...

Ingredients (makes 4 big servings)
1 lb. Lean ground beef (96/4), Bison or ground turkey
4 sweet potatoes
1 T. olive oil
1/2 medium onion, small dice
1/2 green bell pepper, small dice
1/2 red bell pepper, small dice (you can really use whatever you have on hand.  All I had was a green bell pepper, so I chopped up a whole one of those instead of a half of a red pepper)
1/3 c. celery, small dice
2 cloves garlic, minced
1 tsp. ground cumin
1 T. chili powder
2 T. honey
14 oz. can diced tomatoes (no salt added)
6 oz. can tomato paste
Salt and pepper (to taste)

Method
1. Bake your sweet potatoes in a 375° oven for approximately 1 hour.  Check them after 45 minutes. If they're "leaking" or soft to the touch, your 'taters are done.

2. Saute your onions, celery and garlic in the olive oil in a large saute pan.  Season with a little salt and pepper and let cook until the onions are soft.

3. Brown your meat, breaking up the meat into smaller pieces.   Since I used the 96/4 ground beef, I didn't want it to dry out so I cooked it until the meat was mostly brown with a little bit of pink left in.

4. Add your pepper, spices, honey, tomato paste and crushed tomatoes.  Stir until incorporated and season with salt and pepper.

 5. Cover your pan and allow to simmer on low for about 15 minutes.

6. Slice your sweet potatoes open and pour your Sloppy Joe meat on top.  Serve hot and enjoy!

Bonus?  With everything above, this dinner came out to 332 calories and only 6 grams of fat. I snagged 28 grams of protein and 6 grams of fiber from the meal.  Just be careful if you're watching your carb intake.  Sweet potatoes are great complex carbs; however, they're still potatoes.




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