Tuesday, November 25, 2014

Jalapeno and Bacon Deviled Eggs - So Good You'll Praise Jesus

Have you ever cleaned out your closet, digging through the back of the rack, and found treasures that were in style from years ago?

You dig into the depths of your closet and squeal with delight when you unearth those wider-than-a-mac-truck bellbottom jeans from when you were years younger and 6 sizes smaller.   You cringe a little and wonder how you could have worn such an atrocity, but clutch the fitted ass and wide in the calf denim to your chest and are transformed into a time. You feel nostalgic and even just holding a worn fabric brings back fond memories.

That's how I feel about deviled eggs.  They may not exactly be in style, and they may have been tossed by the wayside along with the orange kitchen appliances of yesteryear, but they always make me smile when I see them on a table.

I feel like deviled eggs conjure up memories of '60s and '70s parties.  Housewives dutifully boiling eggs on their avocado-green stoves, smashing the cooked yolks in their mustard-yellow mixing bowls, all the while their husband is off in the living room drinking a Schlitz.

And like authentic bell-bottoms (not that '90s bullshit Delias tried to sell), traditional deviled eggs and those cute deviled egg trays have been whisked off and forgotten in favor of new food trends.

Now...before we get to the main event and because I'm all about education along with sass and dick jokes, let me drop some deviled egg knowledge on yo ass.

Fun fact?  Deviled eggs did not originate in the United States.  They can actually be traced back to ancient Rome when eggs were boiled, seasoned with various sauces, and served at the beginning of a meal.  If you want to know more about the appetizer extraordinaire, visit the History Channel's article on deviled eggs.

So naturally, since I can't do anything half-assed when I was asked to bring an appetizer to a birthday get together, I went in search of the perfect spin on deviled eggs I could find.

Grab your hats and hold on to your pants..... I'm throwing together Jalapeno, Bacon and Eggs.  

You're welcome.

Jalapeno and Bacon Deviled Eggs

1 dozen large or extra large eggs
1 cup mayonnaise
2 tsp rice wine vinegar
1 tsp ground (dry) mustard
1/2 tsp sugar (optional - I left this out of mine since I was cooking for people who think carbs are the devil)
2 jalapenos, seeded and chopped (I did a fine dice; however, chop larger if you want big ole chunks of pepper)
8 pieces of bacon, crisped up and crumbled
Paprika (for garnish)

1. Hard boil your eggs.   Chris helped me out with this since suddenly I've become ignorant in things boiling eggs.  It's like one day I woke up and forgot how to hard-boil a damn egg.  I asked Chris if he could provide some insight into what makes his eggs so magical.   He just shrugged, mumbled something inappropriate, and stumbled off.   Fair enough.

 2. Slice the hard boiled eggs in half lengthwise, and remove the cooked yolks.  Place the cooked yolks in a bowl and arrange the cooked egg whites on a serving tray.

3. Add the chopped jalapeno and mix up/smash the yolks thoroughly.

4. Add the mayonnaise, rice wine vinegar, dry mustard, and (optional) sugar.   Mix thoroughly.

5. Stir in the bacon and taste.   Try not to eat the whole bowl and adjust seasoning if necessary.

6. Fill the egg "hole" with the mixture.  I tried using a piping bag; however, the tip kept getting clogged with bacon so I decided to spoon the mixture in.  I believe deviled eggs should look a little rustic, anyway.  Garnish with paprika and pop in the fridge until ready to serve.

No joke, I brought these eggs to a party and they vanished.   People loved them and I got some really nice compliments.    And I'm pretty sure you can gauge how successful your dish is when you bring it to a party and only bring home the plate.

Or you forget the plate at the host's house because you're food-drunk from all of the amazingness that was at the party.

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