About Me

Some of you might already know me, while others of you don't.   Here are a few fun facts about yours truly.

1. I don't know where to begin with this list. Do I build up anticipation or do I bring out the "heavy hitter fun facts" straight out of the gate? Oh this is already very confusing.

2. I hate drinking water in the morning. It's gross.  Mostly I'll chug coffee and drink juice like it's nobody's business.

3. My favorite hangover food is either Chipotle or a Big Mac and the biggest side of fries you can shove at me.

4. The first time my boyfriend hung out at my place I got hammered and proceeded to lock myself in my bathroom and throw up two bottles of wine.  Don't ask me why he's still with me.

5. I also kicked Chris out of my house on Valentines Day because I knew after the XL bottle of Malbec and the normal sized bottle of Pinot Grigio, bad things would happen. Sure enough...my bathroom has seen some shit.

6. I get overwhelmed when I move into a new place and typically end up having a nervous breakdown on moving day.  Ask my friends who have ever moved me ANYWHERE.

7. I left teaching after 7 years to go to Culinary School.  Just picked up and moved where I didn't know anyone.

8. I am a loyal person. I have my friends' backs like a turtle shell.  

9. (See number 8) However, if you do something to betray my trust, I will hold a grudge against you until the day I die.  Probably it's not good for my stress levels. Probably I need to get the fuck over it.

10. I hate mint.  Even the smell makes me absolutely nauseous. 

11. My dream job is to combine cooking for people and writing.  Someone reading this make that shit happen. Statballs.

12. I love ferrets.  I want to adopt a couple and then walk them around on leashes.

13. There is one person on this earth who, if were dying, I would not save them.  Everyone else gets CPR if they're dying or a glass of water thrown on them if they're on fire.  This motherfucker?  No. (see number 9) 

14. I love scallops.

15. I still wake up before 6:00am on Christmas morning. I can't help it.  

16. I played the clarinet in middle school. It was my mom's vintage clarinet from when she was in high school.  During a locally televised parade I tripped over my feet, fell on my face in front of the crowd and a news reporter, and broke the clarinet to high hell.  I quit the band shortly thereafter.

17. I love sushi but am picky about what I eat.  Anywhere with sushi must have Crab Rangoon on the menu. Holy balls I love that stuff.  

18. I own 3 fishing poles and have a nicely stocked tackle box. I can string line on the poles, bait my hook for the appropriate fishing I want to do, take a fish off the line, filet it, and cook you a nice meal.  I'm incredibly proud of this.

19. I love mud running at zipping through the woods and through a field on a 4-wheeler.  

20. I once won a karaoke contest.  It doesn't get much better than that.

21. I got the Green Bay G tattooed on my right shoulder as a graduation present to myself.  

22. I think Nicholas Sparks is a horrible writer.  I also think Stephanie Meyer is a horrible writer.  And while we're on the subject of horrible writers, I don't know what anyone sees in the "50 Shades of Grey" books.  I could write a better book if I were drunk and someone stuck a pen between my buttcheeks.

23. If I were a Make-a-Wish kid, my wish would be to sing the National Anthem at Lambeau Field.  Can I be a make-a-wish adult?

24. I have 9 tattoos and am planning number 10 right now.

25. I love Michael Bolton. Seriously.  He's one of my "Free 3".

26. I have a rescue Cattle Dog that I love more than most people.

27. I plan on swimming a 5k in 2015.  And now that I told you, I need to get to training...even more.

28. I get teary when I watch those military-family reunions.  God Bless America.

29. When Chris is out of town or off for the night, my dinner will frequently consist of a bottle of wine, cheese, and crackers.  And I don't even care if you're judging me right now.

30. I have an inappropriate love for Panda Express.  I could eat there every single day and not get tired of it.  

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